


It's Not a Poem

by heartofthejunk



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Cute, Gay, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Poetry, dexnursey - Freeform, nurseydex - Freeform, pining??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 12:09:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9384410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartofthejunk/pseuds/heartofthejunk
Summary: Will thinks poetry is more of Derek's thing, but he gives it a shot.Inspired by a poem written by dexnurseyheadcanons on tumblr!!





	

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe this has over 4k words. Enjoy!! :)

**_It’s not a poem_ **

**_Because that’s your thing,_ **

**_Not mine._ **

 

Whenever Will walks into the haus, Nursey always seems to be there. Either he’s sitting on the horrendous green couch with his head in a book or he’s sitting at the kitchen table with a notebook in front of him, filled with poems and fragments of them. Will always wonders what makes his notebooks burst at the seams, pages thick with post-it notes and loose leaf and index cards of ideas he couldn’t write down on the pages of his notebooks. Will wishes that maybe one day he’d get to read something Nursey’s written but Derek is never up to share.

 

Will isn’t one for reading, really, but he’s constantly wondering what Nursey’s thinking. He thinks that maybe his notebooks could be an open door to his world and maybe he could find his way in. The more difficult thing about that was that Nursey kept his notebooks hidden.

 

The books were well hidden. Will suspects that he’s the only one who’d ever found one. The moleskin was cracked from use and pieces of loose paper peeked out from the attached pages. The book felt well-loved, the visible edges of the paper yellow and curling. It was under Nurse’s bed at his dorm room, tucked in between a plank from the bed frame and the mattress. Will had been fixing the bed that Derek had broken by jumping on it (because he had the maturity of a five-year-old). Nurse must’ve forgotten about it before he asked Dex to fix the bed. 

 

Will was undeniably curios. He opened the cover and looked at the first page. On it was a short poem illustrating petals of a flower. He rolled his eyes.  _ What a fucking vegan. _ As he flipped to the second page, huge block lettering stood out to him.  _ BROKEN LIKE YOUR BOTTLES _ . The headline like words made him close the book. This was too personal of a thing for him to look through. He felt odd and  _ dirty _ and he knew he had seen something he was never really meant to see. He put the notebook and down and continued to work on the broken bed. Once he was finished he put the book back where he had found it.

 

It was odd, but Nursey’s words about flower petals floated around his mind for the rest of the week. The poem wasn’t like anything he’d ever read. It was haunting and beautiful and all it was about was  _ flowers _ . Derek just had a way with words unlike anyone Will had ever met.

 

**_It’s not a poem_ **

**_Because it doesn’t rhyme._ **

**_I know you say it doesn’t have to_ **

**_But I prefer_ **

**_When things_ **

**_Make sense._ **

 

“Did you want to learn how to write poetry or what?” Nurse was becoming increasingly annoyed with Will and he knew it, but he just couldn’t understand what he was being taught.

“Yes, of course I did. Why else would I have asked?” he shoots back sarcastically, a scowl prominent on his face. When he asked Nursey to teach him how to write poetry, he didn’t expect him to be such a shitty teacher. Or maybe it wasn’t that Nursey was a shitty teacher, but that Will was a shitty student. After all, he was only half-listening. The other half of his attention was tuned to Nursey, just not what he was saying. It was more focused on his mouth and how it formed each syllable he said, though Will would never admit that. “I just don’t get it. Aren’t all poems supposed to rhyme? Isn’t that what makes it a poem?”

 

Nursey shook his head and sighed heavily. “No. Rhythm makes a poem. Stanzas and short lines make a poem. Emotions and thoughts make a poem.  _ Rhyming _ does not make a poem.” He closes his eyes and rubs his temples with both hands. “Okay,” he states, pulling out his latest notebook. It’s fairly new, only about a quarter filled.  The cover is a powder blue which Will thinks is a lovely color. Nursey flips through it for a blank page and Will’s hungry eyes catch only a few words -  _ acquiesce, cynosure, otiose, felicity. _ Of course. Fancy, pretentious words. Will wouldn’t expect anything else from an english major.

 

Nurse found a page and ripped it from the notebook. He tore the next page out as well and closed the book shut. He set the two pieces of paper in front of the two of them and leaned onto the table. Will sucked in a breath, shocked by the close proximity but not wanting to lean away. “Alright. When writing a poem…”

 

Will didn’t hear much of what Derek said after that.

 

**_It’s not a love poem_ **

**_Because it’s not love._ **

 

Will caught himself staring at Derek again. It was ridiculous. His eyes always drifted to his fellow d-man, who’d fallen asleep with him on the couch. They’d been watching some dumb ass documentary about some dead writer that Nurse had been obsessed with when the both fell asleep. Will was sitting up while Nurse was stretched across the couch, his calves resting in Will’s lap. Will grunted when he caught himself, worried Nursey would wake up and see him staring. He carefully leaned over the legs in his lap and grabbed the remote to turn the volume down and to find something to watch while waiting for Derek “Sleeping Beauty” Nurse to wake up so he could get some breakfast.

 

The haus was oddly quiet every Sunday morning, this weekend especially with many of the upperclassman out of town for an outing to see Jack. Chowder always slept in on weekends and he was the only left in the haus, so it was practically silent when Nursey finally woke up at 10:30. He rubbed his eyes with closed fists, an action sending Will’s heart skipping beats. “Oh, you’re finally awake,” he gulps out, nervous that Nurse may have seen him staring instead of looking at the tv screen.

 

“What time is it,” Derek groans, running a hand through his hair. His groggy voice struck a heart string with Will and his half-opened eyes were a beautiful dull green in the morning darkness. 

 

“10:32,” Will reports. “Which means Allie’s brunch is a definite go. Get off me so I can head out,” he says, pushing Nursey’s legs off of him and standing up. Nursey perks up at the word ‘brunch’ and he stands up as well.

 

“I’m coming too,” Nursey says. “Wait a sec.” He goes to the doorway, pulls on his sneakers, and grabs his jacket so he can brave the cool fall air. “Should we wake Chow up so he can go with us?” he asks, glancing up the stairs to where Chowder’s room is.

 

“Nah, let him sleep,” Will says, not thinking. After Nursey shrugs and they head out the door, he realizes how bad this decision was. Him? And Nursey? Alone? For brunch? This was very,  _ very _ bad. Lately, Nursey had been making him feel confusing things. Whenever they were together Will felt defensive and awkward and he was always anxious around him and he had no idea why. Until recently, none of this happened to him, and he certainly never felt this way around anyone else. 

 

When complaining about this to his mother, he could practically hear her smirk. “William, darling,” she had said. “That’s love.” Will had denied it to no end. There was no possibility that he loved Derek, none at all. He had liked guys before, but this was different and strange and  _ uncomfortable _ . He and Nurse were always at each other’s throats, though they seemed to be getting used to each other. All their arguments and insults had lost their prior bite and every once in awhile, they actually got along. Like today.

 

The bell above the door let out a familiar ringing sound that brought Will back to real life. He couldn’t believe that they were already at Allie’s, and before he knew it they were sitting at a table. He couldn’t even remember being seated, but he didn’t mind. Nursey smiling across from him with a menu in his hands was enough to make him smile. His face heated up and he quickly hid his blush behind his own menu. If this wasn’t love… then what was it?

 

Will had to convince himself it was just a harmless crush.

 

**_It’s not love_ **

**_Because that’s your thing,_ **

**_Not mine._ **

 

Family weekend was as unusual as the year prior, except Will’s family couldn’t make it this year. One of his mother’s friends died and his parents had to go to the funeral. Once Nursey found out about this, he refused to let Will be alone for the weekend. “You’re going to hang with me and my family,” he insisted.

 

Will sighed. “Are sure they won’t mind?” he asked doubtfully, sort of wishing he hadn’t told Derek in the first place. He didn’t think Nursey would take it as far as he had, and now he only felt like he was burdening Nurse and that this was all out of pity.

 

“My parents couldn’t make it this year either, but my aunt is coming. She’s totally cool, and she’s bringing my younger cousin Riley. Riley’s a ball, you’ll love her,” Nurse rambles. “I’ll let her know you’ll be joining us..?” He makes the statement a question, looking for some sort of affirmation from Will. Will nods reluctantly and Nurse mutters a small, “Yes!” and pumps his fist. Will knows he now has to mentally prepare himself for this weekend. Even if it’s just his aunt and his little cousin, the thought of meeting the Nurse family terrifies him.

 

When Saturday is finally upon him, Will is scared. He’s anxious. He’s anything but calm. He's jumpy and he can't decide on an outfit, which never happens because he usually doesn't care. He finally decides that wearing a flannel and jeans won’t kill him, and he heads to Allie’s where he and Nursey are supposed to meet.

 

When Will got there, Derek had a paper bag in one hand and a tray with two iced coffees in the other. “Hey!” Nurse greets. “Iced, one sugar, caramel swirl,” he stated, handing Will the coffee. He took his coffee from the tray and tossed the tray in a near trash can. “And…” he pulled a muffin from the bag. “Chocolate chip.” He handed Will the muffin.

 

Will looked at Nursey, slack-jawed and in disbelief. “My favorites?” he asked, looking between the muffin and the coffee. “Dude, how’d you know?”

 

Nursey laughed. “I’ve only been coming here with you for two years, man. It’s only natural i know your order.” Now that Will thought about it, he knew Derek’s order as well. Iced coffee, two sugars and a pistachio muffin. He had never really noticed that he knew it, but he did.

 

The two headed to the quad, where almost everyone was meeting their families. It was packed, people filling every empty space on the lawn. Nurse abruptly stopped in front of Will and turned around to face him. “Here, take my hand,” he said, extending his hand to Will.

 

Will looked at him oddly. “Wh-what are you talking about?” he stuttered, raising an eyebrow at Nursey.

 

Derek rolled his eyes. “Dude. So you don’t get lost. There are like, a million people here. Chill.” He grabbed Will’s hand and Will felt a jolt go through his arm at the contact.  _ How did i get myself in this situation? _ He thought absently, following Nursey’s lead through the crowd like a lost puppy.

 

After a few minutes of aimless wandering, Will heard a shout of, “Derek!” behind them. Nursey must’ve heard it too, because he moved towards the sound. His face broke into a huge smile once he saw the person who had shouted his name. “Racheal!” he called, beckoning to a woman standing beside a large oak. He let go of Will’s hand and jogged over towards her.

 

The woman, who Will figured was Nursey’s aunt Racheal, looked so much like Derek that it was striking. Same deep green eyes, same dark skin, same bright smile. Balanced against her hip was a little girl, who was maybe about four years old. She had curly dark hair and Will could see she was missing a few teeth. Derek and Racheal embraced, all big smiles and shining eyes. Will suddenly felt like he was intruding and he was somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be. 

 

“Derek!” the little girl cheered, her hands making grabbing motions towards him. Racheal laughed and passed the girl, who’s name Will remembered to be Riley, to Nursey. He laughed and took her into his arms. “Hey baby,” he cooed leaning his face towards Riley’s. “Long time no see.” Riley giggled and kissed Derek’s nose. Will had to look away or he was sure he might implode right there on the spot.

 

Racheal turned towards him. “You must be Will. I’m Racheal,” she greeted, putting out her hand for Will to shake. 

 

Will accepted the handshake. Her grip was surprisingly firm. He smiled at her. “Everyone calls me Dex,” he replied. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” His manners hadn’t left him when he left Maine. His parents practically beat them into him. 

 

Racheal smiled back. “Same to you. We’ve heard so much about you.” 

 

“Is that so?” Will asked in surprise. It was a bit hard to comprehend the possibility of Nursey having mentioned him. He turned towards Derek. “Hopefully it’s all good things.”

 

Derek laughed. “Of course it is,” he said, bouncing Riley in his arms. “Oh! I can’t believe I forgot to introduce you. Riley, this is my friend Dex. Dex, this is Riley.”

 

“Hi Dex!” Riley exclaimed in her adorable little voice, her pudgy hand waving to him.

 

Will laughed and sent a small wave back. “Hi Riley,” he replied. Derek pecked Riley’s cheek. Will felt again like he was trespassing. This part of Derek’s life wasn’t for him; he didn’t deserve to witness the love between this family, and yet he had been invited along for the ride. The was Derek’s time, not his. 

 

He was about to make some dumb excuse as to why he had to leave when Derek said, “Riley, Dex is my best friend, okay? Be nice to him.” Riley nodded eagerly and Nurse sent a smile Will’s way. Suddenly, he didn’t feel so out of place.

 

**_It’s not love_ **

**_Because it can’t be._ **

**_I know you say it can_ **

**_But I prefer_ **

**_What I know._ **

 

_ Dude. Are you awake?  _ **sent 1:54am**

 

_ I am now. What do you want?  _ **read 1:54am**

 

 _I need to get out of here, and I need some company. Pick you up in five?_ **sent 1:55am**

 

 _Whatever Nurse. See you in five._ **read 1:56am**

 

Random texts from Nursey at two in the morning weren’t a usual occurrence, nor were they an unwelcome occurrence. Of course, Will didn’t exactly  _ like _ being woken up at such an ungodly hour, but if it was to spend time with Nursey he supposed it was okay. He got changed and watched the road from his dorm room window for Nursey’s car.

 

Nurse was one of the only students Will knew at Samwell who owned a car and drove it. Since New York was only a few hours away, Nursey sometimes drove home on weekends to visit his parents. Since he was from New York, Will was a bit surprised he even learned to drive.

 

Headlights appeared down the road and Will assumed that Derek would be the only one driving around the dorms at this time at night. His assumption was proved correct when Nursey’s 1965 Ford Mustang became visible through the morning darkness. He left his dorm silently and ran down the stairs because he didn’t feel like waiting for the elevator.  

 

Will jumped into the car and sat on the familiar passenger seat. Derek didn’t even look up at him; he just waited for him to close the door and drove off. Will figured it was one of  _ those _ nights. Derek didn’t want to say anything, he just wanted someone to think around. He’d speak when he was ready.

 

They had circled the entire town twice before Derek spoke his mind. “What would you think if two people on the team started dating? Like would that be okay?” He pulled over the car and looked Will directly in the eyes. It sort of freaked him out; the combination of things happening was so overwhelming. Derek and his big, green, glossy eyes were less than a foot away. The car smelled like him. His entire body was turned toward Will, all of him leaning towards him and awaiting his answer. The only light was coming from the moon above them. Will felt himself flatten against the back of his seat. He suddenly felt a little claustrophobic. Nurse was being a little intense over this subject.

 

“Well… Jack and Bits are dating.” Will gulped, shrugging. 

 

“Yes, I know, but that’s different. Jack isn’t on the team anymore. What if… for example, if you and I started dating?”

 

Will’s eyes surely must’ve popped out of his head at that. Had Nurse found him out? He wiped his palms on his jeans and considered his answer. “It would be fine. B-but we would never date,” he let out a fake laugh. “That’s absurd. J-just because we both like guys doesn’t mean we like each other right?” He forced another laugh, like it was the most hilarious things ever to him. He couldn’t look Derek in the eyes, and when he finally forced himself to, Derek wasn’t looking at him. He was facing straight ahead. 

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he said, as if he was coming out of a trance. “I think we could though.” Will was so shocked he didn’t say a word. He wasn’t sure what this meant for them or for anything or if it even meant anything at all. Derek drove back and dropped Will back off at his dorms without saying a word either. Will wondered if had said something wrong, maybe done something wrong. Maybe he had really messed up. He stayed awake thinking about it, only getting a few hours of sleep that night. His worrying was needless, because the next day Nurse acted as if nothing had ever happened.

 

**_What I know_ **

**_Is not poetry._ **

 

**_What I know_ **

**_Is anger._ **

 

Will sighed and slammed his pencil down. The words weren’t coming to him, they weren’t right. He’d written five stanzas already but they seemed short and choppy to him - nothing that would impress an actual poet. He grunted and threw his notebook to the ground. What the hell made this so hard? It was just organized words to tell his feelings - and then, he realized. What the hell were his feelings?

 

He was angry. For one, he didn’t know how to write poetry and he was sure his heart wouldn’t be able to take another lesson with Nursey. He was angry because all he knew was code and programming and how to fix things. They didn’t teach you feelings in a computer class. He was angry because all he knew was anger; he wasn’t used to feelings of love, or affection, or anything of the sort. 

 

He was mostly angry because even though he wasn’t used to those feelings, Derek showed him those feelings. At some point between and bickering and chirping and the hockey, Will had fallen hopelessly in love Derek Nurse. He was angry because someone finally made him afraid.

 

He was afraid to step out of line, or say the wrong thing. He was afraid that he wasn’t good enough. He was afraid that Nurse didn’t return his feelings, or that maybe he secretly hated him or something. He was afraid that this would ruin the team dynamic, ruin everything. He was afraid to loose Derek, and as unused to feelings of love as he was, he was even more unused to being afraid.

 

To conquer fear, didn’t he have to take a risk?

 

Will picked his notebook off of the floor and found his pencil. Then, he wrote his feelings.

 

**_What I know_ **

**_Is easier_ **

**_To stick with_ **

**_Than to risk change_ **

**_And lose_ **

**_What I know._ **

 

Will didn’t usually do things like this, but he knew Nursey did. When Will asked him about poetry nights, Derek’s eyes lit up immediately. “You want to go to poetry night?” he asked excitedly. “Does this mean you wrote a poem? Is that why you asked for that poetry lesson a while back?”

 

Will decided he liked seeing Nurse this excited. “Maybe,” he shrugged, acting like it wasn’t too big of a deal. Totally chill, as Nursey would say. In actuality, he felt the exact opposite of chill. Derek was literally  _ bouncing _ . He was acting a bit like an overexcited puppy. Scratch that - he was acting  _ exactly _ like an overexcited puppy. It was too much for Will’s poor heart to take.

 

“There’s actually one tomorrow that I’m planning on going to if you want to come?” Nursey asked. Will wondered if he was just imagining a hopeful tone in Derek’s voice. He nodded, making sure it didn’t seem to eager. Nursey beamed. “Great! I’ll pick you up at like 6:30?”

 

Will nodded again and tried not to think about how this sort of sounded like a date.

 

It didn’t work.

 

At 6:24 the next day, Will was panicking a little. Reading over his poem, it sounded a bit shittier than before. He tried not to think too much about it, or about anything. He needed to just calm down and try not to shit himself before sharing his poem on the stage later tonight. He folded up the torn out loose leaf paper and shoved it into the pocket of his jeans. 

 

A loud  _ honk!  _ came from outside the dorms and Will ran outside. He jumped into the passenger seat of Derek’s car with a quick, “Hey.” Nurse didn’t start the car, he only looked towards Will. “You’re deathly nervous, aren’t you?” Will looked into Derek’s eyes and for the first time felt like everything was going to be okay.

 

“Nope. I haven’t got a care in the world,” he said, and it was the truth. Nursey seemed like he didn’t believe him, but he started the car nonetheless. 

 

Will’s nerves returned him at about the time they walked into the restaurant at which this poetry night was being held. When they entered the room, Nursey visibly relaxed. He definitely seemed like he belonged here, while Will felt like he stood out. Derek grabbed his hand and Will thought back to family weekend. He dismissed the memory as Nursey was saying, “Come this way. We have to sign up for our turn to read.” He pulled Will along behind him and smiled to all the people they passed, greeting a few of them. Will wondered if Derek knew everyone in this room.

 

After they wrote down their name and the title of their poem and went to sit down. They grabbed a two person table and sat down, waiting for the readings to start. Several people came up to their table, high fiving and chirping Nurse. Will felt even more out of place every time he was introduced to someone new. He never really caught their names, but he always took a handshake from them.

 

Lights on the performing platform turned on, bathing the room in a golden glow. A hush fell in the room and Will got the message to stop babbling about lobster festivals in Maine to ease his sick stomach. A person, likely the emcee of this whole thing, carried a microphone and a stand onto the stage and set it down. “Welcome, everyone, to poetry night,” he said. There were a few snaps coming from a corner of the place. The man smiled. “Most of you know how this works. I’ve seen several familiar faces today.” Will swore the guy stared at Nursey when he said these words. “For those of you who are new here, it’s simple. If you haven’t already signed up to read, the sign up sheet is on the counter back there,” he pointed to a part of the room and a few people got up and walked to where he was pointing. “And all applause in done in snaps-” he demonstrated- “like so. Everyone got it?” A murmur came from the crowd. “Alright. To start us off, let’s welcome Oliver S. to the stage!” 

 

The room filled with the the sound of snaps. Will tried to snap but frowned when he realized it was about impossible to snap with the callouses on his fingers. 

 

The night continued on. Every poem that was read was beautiful and moving and emotional and ground breaking and well written and everything that Will’s was not. It was frustrating to see these people, these  _ poets _ , stand on stage with such confidence and pour their hearts out to the crowd. Will swallowed the lump in his throat and tried his best to snap when Derek was called up to the stage. He waltzed up there like he owned the place, and for a second, Will was convinced he does. 

 

He pulls out a piece of paper and clears his throat. He starts to read a poem but Will misses every word by staring at his face, full of passion. He looked like he belonged up there, moving around the stage and using hand gestures to accentuate certain points. Even though Will didn’t hear a single word, he was sure Derek’s poem was his favorite.

 

Will only realized he was staring when Nurse finally took a bow at the end of his performance. He snapped almost furiously and then calmed his snapping down to something more casual and less eager. Derek smiled at him and he was sure his chest was about to burst. And then he remembered he was reading next. “Will P.,” the emcee announced. Will stood up and some polite snaps were sent his way. Derek gave him one more encouraging smile that gave him the strength to walk up onto the stage.

 

“Uh, hello. I’m Will, and this is called  _ It’s Not a Poem _ .” Will got a few confused looks from those in the audience. Nurse leaned forward in his seat, a small smirk on his face. Will swallowed his nerves forgot all about the poem written down in his pocket. He remembered every word.

 

“ **_It’s not a poem_ **

**_Because that’s your thing,_ **

**_Not mine._ ** ”

 

Will watched Nurse’s face as he spoke the words. At this point, he looked intrigued. Will took a deep breath and spoke on.

 

“ **_It’s not a poem_ **

**_Because it doesn’t rhyme._ **

**_I know you say it doesn’t have to_ **

**_But I prefer_ **

**_When things_ **

**_Make sense._ **

 

**_It’s not a love poem_ **

**_Because it’s not love._ ** ”

 

Will looked again to their table. Nurse looked a little confused, eyebrows knitted together. Will tried not to think about how adorable it looked. He knew his face was already red from the warm stage lights.

 

“ **_It’s not love_ **

**_Because that’s your thing,_ **

**_Not mine._ **

 

**_It’s not love_ **

**_Because it can’t be._ **

**_I know you say it can_ **

**_But I prefer_ **

**_What I know._ ** ”

 

Nursey didn’t look as confused anymore.

 

“ **_What I know_ **

**_Is not poetry._ **

 

**_What I know_ **

**_Is anger._ **

 

**_What I know_ **

**_Is easier_ **

**_To stick with_ **

**_Than to risk change_ **

**_And lose_ **

**_What I know._ ** ”

 

Will did a short bow and cut through the crowd to Derek. When he finally made it back to his seat, he smiled. “What’d you think?” he asked quietly, ignoring the next performer.

 

“I think…” Nurse put his hand over Will’s on top of the table. “That maybe risking change could be a good thing.”

 

Will blushed. “Maybe it could be.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to scream about Check Please! check out my tumblr (ocean-rising)


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